Monday, 27 August 2018

How To Work For MI6

Situational Joke | I know a way in.

How To Work For MI6



Me: *Crumples up rejection letter and clenches fists* ‘I didn’t even get an interview. How could they…wait..what about…’ *Picks up phone and dials number*

Receptionist: *Answers phone* ‘Hello, you’re through to MI6, Tom speaking, how may I help you on this fine morning?’

Me: *Whispering* ‘Can you keep a secret?’

Receptionist: ‘Absolutely, that’s actually our speciality around here’

Me: ‘Great. Thank you, I feel so much better’

Receptionist: ‘Splendid’

Me: ‘Blinder’

Receptionist: ‘Buzzin''

Me: ‘Jolly good’

Receptionist: ‘Ace’

[Awkward silence]

Receptionist: 'Alright then, so, like, what’s the secret?’

Me: ‘What secret?’

Receptionist: ‘The secret you’ve just telephoned me about..’

Me: ‘You know my secret! Wow, you’re good’

Receptionist: ‘No, because you haven’t actually told me the secret -yet. So what’s your secret?’

Me: ‘Yeah, but technically I didn’t even tell you I had a secret. All I said was could you keep a secret and somehow you worked out I had a secret an…’

Receptionist: ‘Listen, JUST TELL ME THE FUCKEN Secret, WILL YOU’

Me: ‘NEVER. I GO TO THE GRAVE WITH THIS SECRET AND NOW YOU SHOULD TOO’

Receptionist: *Smashes hand into red buzzer on desk*

Me: ‘YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT’

Receptionist: ‘Oh, really’

Me: ‘Yeah, really’

[Half an hour later I’m in an interrogation room at MI6 Headquarters surrounded by agents]

Agents: ‘Tell us your secret’

Me: *Whips out C.V.* ‘Tom on reception can’t keep secrets’


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